I want to skip all transitions. Do you know how amazing that would be? I mean, to change your position from Point A to Point B immediately would be wonderful. Who enjoys transitioning from a fun, relaxed vacation with no expectations to a school year with a whole ton of expectations? It's a blink of an eye change, and our bodies and spirits don't change in the blink of an eye. The first couple of days are hard as we get accustomed to the schedule, the requirements and expectations, and the packs of homework are no fun. But as the school year progresses, we settle into the routine, we adjust, and soon the transition is over. We have just reached Point B!
However, this is only a very simple example of an uncomfortable transition. Right now, I am trying to transition from an unhealthy body to a healthy body, and it absolutely stinks!!! To make the transition, I need to abstain from all fruits, sugars, dairy, and grains. I need to drink at least 10 cups of water a day, and the bathroom has become my best friend. This will continue for about a month and a half, maybe more, as I cleanse my body from the toxins that have decided to move in. It has been absolute misery as my body begins to transition from craving these foods that feed the toxins. But as I get through each day, I am better able to avoid these foods. By the time the end of the cleanse rolls around, I will have no more toxins, and will no longer unhealthily crave these foods. I will have reached Point B.
I'm sure many people have felt the awful discomfort of the transitions between not exercising and exercising regularly, eating unhealthily and eating healthy, and many other habits which can be hard to break. It is, quite honestly, impossible to pleasantly appear {POOF} at Point B. However, Sometimes our wonderful subconscious seems to expect us to, anyways. Having moved several times, I am quite familiar with the taunting thought "All the other girls have WAY more friends than I do! They are all so familiar with each other!" Well, of course they have more friends than I do! I've just moved in. There's also the thought: "She runs 4 miles every morning, and look at me! I can't even run a mile!!" Again, she has been running for far longer than I have. She has already completed my transition, and is now working towards Point C.
These are all everyday examples of times when we beat ourselves up over expecting ourselves to do in a short amount of time what the experts took weeks, months, and years to accomplish.
One of the most prominent examples of this in my mind, is the period of time right after my dad had been arrested. I had gone into extreme shock as my family life blew up into the air and began to fall all around me. During this time I was staying with a relative, and I fell deep into depression. Every day was dark and hopeless, and many nights were filled with nightmares. I was at my lowest point. I was stuck at Point A, and Point B seemed to be an eternity away. There was no way I would ever reach it. The transition between deeply depressed and incapable and quite capable and loving life was surely too hard. But as those around me pushed me forward, step by step, lifting me out of the crevices and picking me up when I tripped -- even when I wanted nothing more then to stay down -- I began the transition. The transition between looking down at the ground and looking up at the sky. The transition between always lounging around disconsolately and doing a few chores around the house. The transition between always being watched for my personal safety, and being able to stay at home alone. All of these transitions were made, step by step, here a little and there a little, and I soon began to improve. Maybe it wasn't so impossible to be happy....
Since then, I have come a long way. I have learned many lessons and gained many skills, but even now I struggle with the emotions, paradigms, and trauma that I experienced during that time. I haven't reached Point B yet, though I am getting close. I've learned that beating myself up about messing up sometimes just keeps me from my destination and makes me slide backwards even more.
As I have talked with Bishops, Emotional Doctors, and Therapists, they have all repeated this same principle over and over again: that our course to our goal will not be one straight line. There will be bumps and trips, stupid mistakes, and relapses. But as we continually try to be better and learn from these mistakes, we will eventually reach our destination. One Bishop put it this way:
The Black line is the course from Point A to Point B -- in his case, Imperfection to Perfection. The Purple line is our path on that path -- and, as you can see, we barely spend any time on the actual course. But as we continually correct our course, we do eventually reach our destination. At the beginning of the transition, we waver from the path a lot, traveling very far from it. But every time we turn back towards the path, we come closer to our destination. And as we continually correct our course, the times when we leave the path become shorter and shorter, and we are able to head toward our destination faster and faster, until, finally, we reach our Point B.
So, really, there is no need for beating ourselves up over taking longer than we thought to transition from Point A to B. Many times, it will take much longer than the straight course. But, despite the hitches, determination will get us to the end. It may be hard to get there, and sometimes we can't see it. I know I didn't when I was in that ditch. But I did get there as I received help, and kept stepping forward.
But still... Wouldn't it be nice to skip transitions?
“In the hero stories, the call to go on a journey takes the form of a loss, an error, a wound, an unexplainable longing, or a sense of a mission. When any of these happens to us, we are being summoned to make a transition. It will always mean leaving something behind,...The paradox here is that loss is a path to gain.”
― David Richo
